


Close Your Eyes and Get Through

by LifeisnoPorn (LamiaSage)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Angel Orgasms (Supernatural), Angel Sex, Blow Jobs, Dark Crack, Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape, Episode: s12e19 The Future, M/M, Manhandling, Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Voyeurism, Wall Sex, angel orgasms burn people's eyes out whoops, non-consensual voyeurism in the first chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:27:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29199099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LamiaSage/pseuds/LifeisnoPorn
Summary: Dean enjoys sex with Castiel, really. The angel has great stamina, can manhandle him against a wall easily, and also he is the one Dean fell in love with years ago.There is only one problem - he will never be able to see a single of Cas' orgasms because otherwise, that damn mojo would burn his eyes out. Genuinely, who knew that angels have more than just an afterglow?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Close Your Eyes and Get Through

**Author's Note:**

> Hey *waves*  
> This idea came to me as I read a few fics about Cas' angel mojo. My brain just was like "hmm, what if angel orgasms were so powerful they would blend everyone who watched" and yes, here we are xD
> 
> The angel part will be the overarching storyline, but each chapter has its own Destiel moment, beginning with before Dean and Cas are getting together (around 12x19). Since I am currently writing another fanfic as well and have quite a lot to do, I will update this one whenever I feel like it (as a fair warning). 
> 
> I hope you have fun! <3
> 
> PS: I do not have a thigh fetish, they are just very neat to describe. And I definitely give a lot of descriptions in this chapter.

The first time they didn't actually have sex.

It happened after the mixtape incident. Dean had given it to Castiel a while ago because - it had just felt right, honestly, sharing something that he liked, showing a part of himself to Cas. He wasn't really good at holding speeches and explaining feelings he didn't even want to admit to himself, so this was as close as they could be. It was the most intimate way they could co-exist without crossing the golden line of friendship, the one that stood like a wall between them, just one more of Dean's defense mechanisms to protect himself from losing everything beloved. 

Of course, Cas had crossed that line a lot in their early days. Back then, Cas didn't know the feeling of falling into someone's arms, spiraling down to earth without the ability to fly. "Personal space", Dean had said while he could feel the absence of the angel's breath on his lips. Cas had looked at him in the way _only he could_ , replying with "my apologies". Then, he had done that little head tilt that would drive Dean crazy so many times.

Sometimes Dean wondered if the other knew. He had never told the story about his parents dating. How Mary used Zepp to test his father, those lyrics saying more than words. Why would he? Love was a weird kind of language, truly.

Even without the connection to his parents the songs meant a lot to him. When John was absent, he had the music to bond with. Robert Plant's voice was the one putting him to sleep when he was angry. It was the one to fill the silence when he was lonely. Dean would care for Cas the same way Zepp had cared for him. He would always be there when the other needed his assistance, whether he asked for it or didn't. Maybe, deep at heart, he was a hopeless romantic after all.

Thirteen songs were on the mixtape, and thirteen words were necessary to show Cas that he still loved.

"Um, I just wanted to return this."

"It's a gift. You keep those."

Afterward, the silence on their yearning felt too strong to bear, so Dean went to grab a drink or two. He shut the freezer door harder than necessary, the cool beer in his hand a ludicrous attempt to calm him. Grumbling, he popped the bottle at the kitchen counter and listened to the short metallic 'clank' of the lid falling onto the floor. It was too soft to grab Sammy's attention, so luckily he wouldn't have to listen to a speech about how he allegedly destroyed the bunker's furniture again. Where was his brother, actually? Probably doing some research in the library and waiting for his housemates to finally sort it out. Ph. If he could. 

Dean was angry, because he cared, but he also wanted to hug Cas so badly and tell him that _no, he wasn't a failure_. He wanted to kick the ass of every being or entity that ever made the angel think poorly of himself. Cas said that he needed to come back with a win for _him_. Because he thought that he only was worth to Dean the length of his successes. He slammed the back of his head against the freezer. His thoughts hurt.

Son of a bitch, he needed to tell Cas. But when?

Not now, he decided and picked up the bottle cap. Turned it around between his fingers so that its sharp curves bore into his flesh. Threw it into the trashcan from where he stood. 

Lost in thought, he strolled along the bunker, one blue-grey wall vanishing into the other, a mash of hallways to feel small in.

Suddenly, he heard a noise. It came from Cas's room.

Dean shuddered.

Was Cas crying?

Instinctively he stepped closer. It took all of his control to not just burst into the room and check if everything was okay. _Personal space_ , he had to remind himself. However, it was actually the fear of having to explain himself to Cas that managed to keep him back. Dean really didn't need some confrontation when he just walked away from it.

Remaining silent, he listened to the noises, clenching his fist around the bottle when he heard something like a sob. His chest tightened when he realized that this maybe was partly his fault, that the angel was sad because of him. 

"Dean", a low growl came from the other side of the door.

It sounded pained, exhaled in bits and pieces, shattered through the wall between them.

There was another sound, but it was something Dean's lovesick brain could not comprehend. He was too busy worrying. His still bent fingers were now touching the entrance to Cas's room, the wood cold beneath his knuckles. It was tempting to just storm inside. He wanted to hold the other's face between his hands until those blue eyes met him, saw him, how he was finally stripped bare and waiting to be taken. He longed to show himself with more than just a stupid mixtape. But could the angel return those feelings?

A second "Dean", now coming close to a moan.

The hunter felt anxious. His stomach was turning. In panic, he pushed the door open just a little. He needed to check if Cas was okay. Hoping that the other wouldn't realize he was here, Dean peeked inside through the crack.

_Holy fuck._

He didn't know what he had expected, maybe Cas sitting on his chair in tears, though he had never seen him cry before. Maybe Cas throwing the mixtape away with reddened eyes, getting ready to leave again. Everything, but not this.

The angel was sprawled on the bed, his back leaning on a soft pillow that was pressed against the wall. He had removed his trenchcoat and tie. Dean could spot them lying neatly folded on the dresser next to him, blue on top of beige, next to a bottle of lube. The collar of Cas white shirt was hanging loosely around his neck since three of its buttons were undone. Tanned skin was showing underneath, just enough to have Dean gasping silently. 

Still, most of his attention was caught by something else: Castiel's pants were open, flaps spread wide on his thick thighs. A beautiful hand - Cas' hand - moved rhythmically in between them. Up and down, with the sound of skin on skin, its firm grip around what he realized was nothing else than the other's cock, flushed and hard.

Dean nearly dropped his beer. 

Luckily, his whole body just froze. Unable to move, he sucked in a whistled breath, the other's gasps drowning his own. Had Cas seen him yet? His heart hammered when he thought about explaining himself. Damn, they weren't even close to dating. And yet, he heard his name, from the other side of this door. It was a melody that could overshadow a thousand Zepp songs.

He was still unable to move as he felt heat rushing through his tensed limbs. It was a weirdly pulsating sensation coming from both his chest and his spine, more than just simple lust. For a moment the hunter thought he was having a stroke. Suddenly everything was just so intense - the light of Cas dimmed bedside lamp shining through the door, the roaming behind the bunker's walls, the angel's smell of lavender, fabric softener, and old books. Dean would die here. And Cas would find him, lying completely undone in front of the open door. Just _peachy_.

But Cas was busy touching himself. His free hand had wandered dangerously close to his nipples. Long, elegant fingers were brushing over his chest, awfully close to stroking his areolas but never actually giving in. It was a move Dean recognized from his own imagination. He had fantasized about Cas teasing him there until he was not more than a mess, unable to form proper words, begging for his release. It was one of his really sensitive areas, especially with someone else being in control. Dean swallowed. 

The hand drifted upward, its smooth nails caressing the side of Cas's neck now. At the same time, the angel had his eyes shut, losing himself in his imagination.

Dean could see his name being whispered by pink lips. They were chapped as always, making him want to kiss them until there were wet and swollen. The feeling of _want_ rushed through him when his gaze wandered from Cas' absurdly winged cupids bow down to the dark stubble on his dimpled chin. Hell, he wasn't even looking at the other's dick at that moment and he was already more of a wreck than baby after their demonic car crash. 

_What was he doing?_

He should run as far away as possible. It would be best for him to find a hunt in another state and drive there immediately. Noone would be hurt, the wall was still standing, everywhere but in Dean's thoughts of course. He would not forget. However, he was hella practiced in playing pretend by now. Just one more secret to keep. He would get through. If necessary, drowned in alcohol and Busty Asian Beauty magazines. 

It was another "Dean" that kept him there.

Cas' voice was so rough, full, and dark flavored that his knees weakened immediately. Only to then have the realization hit him that Castiel, angel of the lord and celestial warrior, desired him. _Him_ , Dean Winchester, your average hunter, a man more familiar with drunk bar fights and fast hookups than just a single healthy relationship. A man not worth his reputation, honestly, as he was more a wreck than anything else. A man not worth the love of someone so pure. He destroyed everything he touched.

Who even had been aware the angel could lust like this - or maybe even love? No, what a foolish thought to have. Masturbation was one thing, but this was no fairytale. Dean knew, like he knew Cas had wanted to return the mixtape.

Yet, he was unable to avert his gaze from the other. Trapped in his own hunger, he peeked through the little gap. He was a spy in his own house.

Chuck, those thighs. Dean can only imagine slithering between them, touching what was still way too much cloth. How would it feel to have the dark blue, soft fabric of his suit pants catch in between his fingers? He wanted to pull them off until Cas was as naked as the hunter the day he was born. In truth, he would never be able to see the angel in his real form. However, he needed him to be as close to that as possible.

The sight of Cas touching himself merged with a vision of Dean pleasing the other. He would kiss every part of his broad, athletic, yet not overly muscular body. Damn, he would make him feel _good_. Blow Cas until he was being squished in between those strong runner's legs and forcefully pulled close to be kissed.

Wishful thinking, that was all.

He watched as the angel changed position by bending one leg and tucking it up to the side. While doing so, his hips made a slight cracking sound, but Dean was too distracted to actually perceive. After all, he now had a full frontal view of Castiel's dick.

Dark curls surrounded the shaft, flowing down his thighs like a shadow. Of course, Cas didn't shave, why should he? Dean was stunned. When he realized how much he liked this sight, he gulped. Gosh, the angel's cock was throbbingly _hard_. It was a shade darker than the rest of Cas's body, slightly curved and a tad above average, not gigantic, but definitely a bit bigger than Dean's own. Precome gleamed at the tip, revealing that he must be getting close.

Dean had never thought that one day in his life he would deem a dick to be beautiful (okay, perhaps he had if he was completely honest with himself), but here he was, in love with his best friend. 

As to distract himself, he took a sip from the bottle he was still holding in his hand, glancing at the bunker's ceiling instead. _Dude, give Cas some privacy._

His own dick had treacherously hardened, making those denim jeans and boxers feel very uncomfortable against his crotch. Using his free hand, he awkwardly shifted around until it was a little more bearable. He was having serious flashbacks to his puberty. With squinted eyes, he furiously wished his boner away while ensuring that it didn't accidentally turn into a prayer. Dean had to think of anything, monsters, hunting, blood, the sound of a blade cutting skin, just anything but Cas... Cas who was laying in the room next to him, touching himself, so perfect, so beautiful... Nope, the heat didn't go away.

The sound of slick skin was getting more intense. It pushed Dean to open his eyes again. Following his instincts, he saw the angel speed up his movements, only to then slow down and teasingly drag his thumb over the head. He was panting softly, his cheeks red and his mouth formed into a little _oh_ as if the pleasure took him by surprise, even after all this time in-between humans.

A single drop of sweat had collected in between his collarbones, making him so much more Cas and so much less an ethereal being.

His shirt had begun to slip off his shoulders, exposing one of his nipples. It was surrounded by tiny moles, inconspicuous, yet reminding Dean of a constellation of stars. Like on the rest of his body, there was hair on his chest as well, although not as much. Besides, his skin looked so warm and soft against his defined jaw that Dean could only imagine how it would feel touching his own. He was _so much_. He was everything the hunter wanted.

Castiel squirmed, letting out another moan while stroking himself. He looked so strong, so powerful even in such a sensitive moment, so stoic that Dean suddenly understood the fascination of sculptors capturing a body for eternity. 

The angel's eyes were still shut when he was working himself faster. Biting his bottom lip, he twisted his wrist as he firmly moved his grip from the shaft upwards over the head, using the palm of his other hand in a circular motion. His technique was different than the one Dean knew from himself, he was stretching himself out more with less focus on the tip itself. As he continued getting closer and closer, he began to stroke his balls as well, massaging them gently in between his fingers.

It was hot.

Dean felt like someone had cast a spell over him, he couldn't do anything except absorb, stare, admire.

Cas' heavy breaths were hard to miss now, his head forcefully pushed back against the wall, his cheeks flushed red, the bent leg falling down onto the sheets with a flap. His hips were bucking up to accommodate his hands, forming a dance so instinctive to humans but so foreign to a warrior of God.

Dean knew the other was going over the edge when his stomach muscles tensed and his back arched. It was a raw movement.

He would watch his best friend coming, here, right now, in front of his eyes. And he liked it, of course he liked it, because they were more, more than just friends. They knew since the moment Cas pulled Dean out of hell, rebuilding him from scratch, and still, Dean was a coward, told himself didn't cross the line to protect, but he was afraid...

The train of thought was crushed by a sudden light flashing in front of him.

It was not just a shine like if someone hit the switch. Dean felt like he was looking directly into the sun. His eyes were burning before he had the chance to close them, his head throbbing. He was feeling like a thousand rainbow-colored lightbulbs had exploded in front of him, glorious, but forcefully piercing into his vision. With his sight squinched shut, he fumbled for the handle. When he found it, he breathed a sigh of relief, pulling the door shut with a harder slam than intended.

_Fuck._

Instinctively, he knew the light was Cas.

As crazy as it sounded, the angel was glowing when he came.

And Dean had nearly turned blind because he had spied on the other orgasming.

_Fuck._

Panicking, he turned away, finally blown out of his paralysis. 

He ran towards his room as fast as his legs allowed him to, ignoring Sam who was just stepping out of the library and looking after him with a confused expression on his face. 

When he reached his safe zone he was nearly hyperventilating. Eyes wide open again, he locked himself in, making sure no one - like his brother, or worse, Cas - could disturb him. Sliding down onto the floor, he buried his head in his hands, trying to realize what had just happened. 

It took him a while to calm down, and it would take him more than enough time to not feel guilty over what he had done. He didn't leave his room again that day.

Later in the evening, if there was someone standing on the other side of the door, they would have been able to hear Dean's top 13 Zepp tracks blasting through the crack - and if listening really closely, also the noise of skin on skin.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, English isn't my first language. Because of that, I would like to ask you to inform me if you see any grammar mistakes, spelling errors, or typos ^^ The last sentence is somewhat weird, but I have no idea how to make it different while still conveying the same idea.
> 
> It has been a while since I watched 12x19, so please hit me up when you see sth that does not make sense in that context.
> 
> If you want to support me you can do it by following me on [tumblr](https://deancrowleycas.tumblr.com/). ♥


End file.
